The Gold

Seriously. This kid is the reason you have cameras in your 7-11. Here's a short summary of Keith: greedy jew gold hoarder.

jew gold

The above is jew gold. You will never see any of it. Ever. That's because Keith hoards all of the jew gold. Nothing will stand in his way. He's already threatened to |-|4c|{20� Gary's Hood if need be.

The Gun

Here is his main weapon. It is a glock handgun aka a nine, which is made of the jew gold he hoards. Be amazed and scared at the same time.


Keith in the Media

Keith inspired an episode of South Park even. Kyle is an innocent victim who holds a small pouch of jew gold that his rabbi gave him. Keith is played by the ruthless character Cartman, who pulls out his nine and steals Kyle's jew gold.

South Park

Reasons to Steal His Gold

Now you're probably wondering, why should I care about jew gold? What are you, a communist? Look at it this way. Keith doesn't deserve the jew gold. I do. Sure, he starts by just taking all the jew gold, no need to worry, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. An attitude like that is the reason Keith sleeps on a pillow made of jew gold every night.

He first started his jew gold hoarding career with just a nine and a small pouch of jew gold to support himself. But just like any other man with a nine, he got very greedy and started hoarding the gold. He would trick people into thinking he would pay them for their services or goods with jew gold. However, he withheld the jew gold after he got what he wanted and threatened to pull out his nine if they had a problem with that.

brb keith

The Weakness

That's the exact thing you will say when Keith wants your jew gold. Too bad he already has it, so it doesn't even matter anymore. Now it's time to get it back. Let's review Keith's main weaknesses.

America Shirt

What's that you say? Why would Keith's weakness be an America shirt? Well, let's just put it this way. Since Keith's main weakness is an America shirt, that would make him a commie. Since he's a commie, his weakness would be an America shirt. For the simple minded, I prepared a chart to show my expert logic that I used to prove the above point.

Circle Logic


Now Keith already knows about circle logic, because he is a criminologist. So it's very difficult to use it on him, without angering him and making him pull out his nine. Here's a picture of his nine in case you forgot. Don't worry, once you see the real thing, it will be the last thing you remember forever.


I used the criminology skills I tricked Keith into giving me, and was able to find the location of a major jew gold stash.

Garbage Locker